Sometimes love is written in the stars.
Modern courtship as we know it was born from the odd coupling of prohibition and women’s suffrage.
In 1919 and 1920 respectively, Americans lost the right to drink and women earned the right to vote. In short order came the rise of the speakeasy and the liberated ladies that frequented them. According to Insider this was the moment, “Courtship became a private event held in public (albeit forbidden) spaces.”
Freedom, repression, and the pursuit of inebriation, ain’t it just the American way, folks.
For you lovers today, the fact that you are reading this article at all means you are at least a decent partner and at worst a trash monster betting big on the redemptive power of a good well planned date.
Either way, let’s get to it.
Whether date night means the open road or a night at home, we’ve got a plan for your person. For maximum benefit, read for your partners rising and Venus sign as well.
ARIES (March 21 – April 19)
Take a drive
Thrill seekers and pedal pushers, this fire sign, which counts Clyde Barrow among its ranks, favors impulse over am itinerary. In kind, a long drive with no clear destination and the pressing possibility of untold adventure is right up their highway. Pack a playlist, some Slim Jims, amphetamines, Mike & Ikes and a handful of suggested stops but keep the windows down and the trajectory noncommittal. Bonus points if the car is someone else’s, stolen or borrowed, you cross state lines and stop for dodgy tattoos and/or illegal fireworks.
TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)
For a Taurus, breaking bread takes is a sacred ritual. They need their caloric ceremonies to be well lit, the spread abundant and the wine better than boxed. To impress them, make a reservation at a restaurant that gets high marks for ambience, request an outdoor table, order like Elvis on a bender and do not under any circumstance comment on the cost, Taurus hates a cheapskate especially when it comes to food. A word to the wise, If you’re looking to get lucky, it’s best to plan pre-date sex as bulls are known, on occasion, to get too full to f**k.
GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
The mind of the average Gemini is a reliquary of obscure facts, pictures of outer space, song lyrics, a vague notion of the Fibonacci sequence and a list of people they need to text back. Most of the time this flotsam is useless but in the context of bar trivia their stream of consciousness is given purpose and reward. Take your Gemini out where they can shine, prove they are smarter than everyone else, come up with a witty team name (“The Stepdads,” because we beat you) and get drunk in a convivial atmosphere.
CANCER (June 21 – July 22)
Cancers like old stories told anew and spaces that feel like sanctuaries. To impress them, build a cinematic cocoon. Fill a darkened room with twinkle lights, tissues, Milk Duds, a projector and a screen made from the top sheet of their childhood bedroom or the mainsail from their delusional ship of dreams. Statistically, Cancer doesn’t mind what you watch so long as you prove that you care.
LEO (July 23 – August 22)
Leo rules the fifth house of creativity and play, the natural domain of the inner child and the tantrums they throw. Mini golf is a safe space for Leos to express their unruly competitive steak while immersed in a carnival environment. These people love kitsch so long as it photographs well and if you discreetly let them win, everyone goes home happy.
VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)
As an anxious earth sign, Virgos are particularly buoyed by any time spent amidst nature, breathing fresh air in bare feet under blue skies. Getting them outside, and away from anything they can organize, scour or improve upon, equates to bliss. If you can get them walking folks, you can get them talking. A wellspring of practical information they can sometimes even be counted on to identify trees, psilocybin mushrooms, venomous snakes and the secret meaning of life.
LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)
Ruled by Venus, Libras are oxygenated and aroused by spaces that trade in aesthetics, be it art museums, Restoration Hardware showrooms or the the produce department at Whole Foods. There’s a tendency among Libras to take things lightly, preferring a surface skim to a deep dive, combat this by taking them somewhere they can stare, contemplate the infinite and confront the provocative.
SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)
If you’re brave, or have been deemed worthy enough, to seriously date a Scorpio than you understand that subtlety has no place with these people so pack the Malbec and bring on the memento mori with a graveyard picnic. Scorpio reigns over the eighth house of sex, death and regeneration which makes a meal among the dead a wonderful way to remind this fixed water sign to be fully present and wholly grateful for their current incarnation.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)
If Sagittarius were an inanimate object it would be either a pair of dice or a bar stool; primed as they are for truth spilling, swing taking, stranger straddling, boot scooting, shot shooting, jukebox listening, and otherwise altered states, By and large these people also love to dance badly and cheer loudly and are touched by earnest displays of expression. For these reasons, wrangle your archer to a local watering hole where the floors are sticky and the sounds are sweet.
CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn typically prefer to plan, execute and dictate the dress code for date night activities but they will respect your efforts even as they find fault with them. The builder of the zodiac, sea goats are equal parts sensual and practical making a pottery class a wonderful way for them to engage with the tactile and leave with a functioning drinking vessel. Mature beyond their years and old before their time they can also get down with firehall BINGO but be warned, they came to win and they play for keeps.
AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius is the sign of space travel, innovation, god complexes, tinsel and molecular gastronomy. Brilliant yet burdened, these people have a tendency to get stuck in the mire their own minds. Stargazing is a chance to look up and outside of themselves, to marvel at their home planets and connect to the comforting truth that they are but a bit of complex carbon hurtling through time and space with nothing to lose and everything to understand.
PISCES (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces is ruled by Neptune, planet of dreams, creativity, marshmallows, Synesthesia and watercolor paints. Tapped into the feelings of others, Pisces will benefit from channeling theirs into making art. Be it a paint and sip situation or a nude life drawing class, these lascivious lushes will rejoice. The work they produce will provide a meaningful memento to remember the date by and in the event of a break up, an object to burn while they listen to Bon Iver in the dark and curse the day you were born.
Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars
Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture and personal experience. She is also an accomplished writer who has profiled a variety of artists and performers, as well as extensively chronicled her experiences while traveling. Among the many intriguing topics she has tackled are cemetery etiquette, her love for dive bars, Cuban Airbnbs, a “girls guide” to strip clubs and the “weirdest” foods available abroad.